What happens when an Unstoppable Force meets an Immovable Object?

They share a pot of tea and talk about the weather.

First Impressions

So now I’ve settled in I think it’s a fair time to sit back and recap what I’ve noticed over my last couple of days here.

First of, Delta is the best Airline I think I’ve ever been on (although I haven’t flown Emirates yet). I had Cajun Chicken for Breakfast (the best breakfast, screw cereal, I want to start my day with dinner), and pizza for lunch. What else could you ask for except maybe Ice Cream. Oh wait, they gave me Ice Cream too. Huzzah.

Here’s a little fact Gemma told me before I came out to get me all excited and to amplify her own jealousy. There are fifty five different types of Ben & Jerry’s in the US, with only thirteen in the UK. And I tell you, they’ve kept most of the best ones for themselves. I say this with an empty tub of ‘Americone Dream’ on my desk. A flavour designed by none other than Stephan Colbert I have you know, which contains vanilla with fudge covered waffle cone pieces and caramel swirls. There is no way I am going to return to the UK anything less than three stone heavier.

                             

Actual size. Those guys are just really small.

The people here are so nice. Everyone I meet is all smiles and ‘have a good day’. It’s hard not to be smiley and friendly back when everyone does it to you. They tell me it’s because I’m in small-town USA. And that people are more uptight and mean in the cities. But take my new bank for instance. When I went down there today to account up my very own American account I met the branch manager who turns out is from Norfolk. I spent twenty years in South East England never meeting anyone from Norfolk to my knowledge, yet 3’500 miles away here’s one of them. Not only does the bank have a fireplace where customers can come in anytime and sit beside to read one of their newspapers and eat their cookies. But she also gave me some of the offices’ Tetley teabags once she found out I didn’t bring any English tea from home.

So it turns out Norfolk is here. I had no idea until I got home and checked. You can’t blame me though, it is quite far north.

It’s very cold in South Bend, being at the top if Indiana and Indiana only being one state away from Canada. The day I arrived happened to be the coldest day of the year so far (only 40 days to choose from so not that impressive) but it does mean that if I breathe in fast enough, ice starts to collect on my nostril hair. It’s amazing. I will never be bored walking again. Also if you were to head outside after having a shower and your hair is still wet, the water will freeze and you would experience rock hard hair in any shape you care to fashion it into before it freezes. Move aside Hammerhead.

 

 

 

 

So the Campus, I knew it was big and has lots of stuff but I swear the place just gets bigger everyday. Here is a little list of the stuff you can find on campus:

• The 80’000 capacity football Stadium
• The 50m, 18 lane Swimming pool
• Indoor Running track – it’s one of the most peculiar yet genius things I’ve seen. There’s this hall full of basketball courts with a 1/8 mile running track going around it but two floors up. So you can watch tall skinny skins jump while fat white boys sweat on them from above
• Gym specifically for Varsity Student Athletes, on top of the gym for the rest of us normies
• 2’600 capacity Ice Rink
• 11’000 capacity Basketball Stadium
• Big olde Catholic Church - named ‘Basilica of the Sacred Heart’ – powerful stuff
• Subway
• Burger King
• Hairdresser
• Barber
• Flower Shop (awwwww)
• Credit Union (similar to a banking society)

And of course a bunch of other stuff including your usual academic and admin buildings, more places to eat, more courts and sports facilities, and a very big Touchdown Jesus.

Didn’t I tell you about the Touchdown Jesus? Well let me start now. Basically on top of the University library is a very big mosaic wall of Jesus.

                    

Named Touchdown Jesus because back in 1968 when The Fighting Irish (all Notre Dame sports teams are named ‘The Fighting Irish’, it makes me happyface) took on Michigan State, they were 3 points down with only one play left to go. The Catholic Jesus then appeared and took the final play for The Fighting Irish, scoring a Touchdown. It just so happened that there was a bylaw in the College Football rules that allowed for such a circumstance. You probably haven’t heard of it as it was only the 1.5st coming of Jesus, not the 2nd coming. Which as everyone knows, is the real deal.

You take a look at the house I’m in and you can tell straight away it’s a student house. However something interesting about it is that it has no TV. Now some would find that a curse but I’m looking at it as a blessing. TV is merely a distraction from life. Plus I have the internet anyway. Any my nice Hard Drive full of British TV and films. I think the room I have here though is probably the biggest bedroom I’ve ever had. They sure build their houses bigger in America. They certainly have the space to do so.

There’s also a garbage disposal in the kitchen sink. Hours of fun.

Now everyone knows that Americans pretty much go anywhere in their cars. And that some towns and cities are even designed so it’s harder to walk around. South Bend is no exception. Luckily is does have pavements around the whole town, unfortunately about 2/3 of them are still covered by snow. Where back in Guildford, anywhere you wanted to go was about a 10/20 minute walk away, here it’s closer to 30/40 minute walk. So once I get paid I’m heading and buying one of these bad boys.

Although mine is unlikely to have an engine and will probably have pedals instead. Tires will likely be smaller too. Chances are it won’t be a Hayabusa either. But you get the idea. Bus system here is decent at least.

 

So I checked out the Mall. Interestingly enough it looks exactly the same as any Shopping Centre you’d get in England. But that’s to be expected. I also had a look at their Hot Topic. I don’t see what all the fuss is about. Walmart is big and cheap and apparently sells guns on the shelves but you have to go deep into the back they say. I’ll make sure I look properly next time. Downtown is where a lot of the pubs and restaurants are, while shopping they keep to places like the Malls which are further out of town. All the eggs have white shells. Just plain white. It’s something I don’t know if I’ll ever get used to.

I managed to bring Plodrick along with me as a Carry On . He enjoyed the flight, however they didn’t bring any turtle feed for him. And everyone knows turtles can’t eat pizza and ice cream. Yummy yummy ice cream. The Goat however was too big and would have sent me way over my limit so he is currently being shipping across the Atlantic. We’ll see him in a couple of weeks or so.

I need to go out and buy a pillow. You know what they say about you don’t miss something until it’s gone? That counts three times over in case of pillows. Stuffing a pillow case with hoodies doesn’t quite cut it.

To be a plane

What I would give to be a plane
To be able to soar high and free
For life on the crust can be such a bane
With so much to worry me

To own the skies above
To supreme the birds with quickened pace
No sparrow, no eagle, no dove
Will be able to match my grace

To soar, to cruise, to reach high in the sky
Only jealousy will come when you see me fly

To worry, to cry, to just wonder ‘why?’
A plane will never do
For it is truly free, and forever true

And when the skies are mine
When I have explored them all
Only then I hope to die
The glorious death, the Great Fall

To stand like giants for the first, and the last
Like a fallen angel cast from the heavens
The crust welcomes me, the ocean may beckon
As screams fill my hall
Such is the fate of the Great Fall