Zeroth and Two Third Impressions

So the ball is properly rolling and I’ve finally started applying for my visa!

This is actually a trumpet version of the Notre Dame fight song I have you know, all it needs to complete it is a Leprechaun being lowered from the roof throwing chocolate coins everywhere *now has a new destiny*

So as you can expect the application process is long and bureaucratic (and costly). As you can also expect the forms have a lot of security questions. Are you a terrorist? Have you ever funded terrorism? Are you planning to become a prostitute once in the US or have you been a prostitute in the last ten years? I assume if you were a prostitute eleven years ago all the coodies would have worn off by now.

One of the more interesting questions I found however was the good old:


‘‎Have you ever committed, incited, assisted, or otherwise participated in torture?’


Bear in mind one of the first questions you have to fill is where you list all the criminal convictions you’ve had. I’d like to go to the place where torture doesn’t count as a criminal act. By ‘I’d like to go’ I do mean of course not go at all ever.

My favourite question of all time however is the classic:


‎’Have you ever ordered, incited, committed, assisted, or otherwise participated in genocide?’


Genocide isn’t exactly a common place occurrence. At least I’ve been lead to believe. I’m surprised the form didn’t ask me if I’ve ever been in a suicide cult, or ever faked my own death to avoid numerous indecent public display fines, and spent the rest of my life stalking a paranoid celebrity.

Notice the term ‘ordered’ there too. I would love to meet the person who has been in the position to order a genocide and then decides to apply for a student research visa. Genocides aren’t something some hobo on the street can just conjure up one day. I can assure you that. As my good old Matt said, if you have managed to commit some kind of genocide and you have been subtle enough about it that you don’t think the Immigration services in the US will found out about it, it’s probably not that big a contradiction of morals for you to lie on your visa form (for those of you who haven't discovered Matt's own travel blog check it out here).

By ‘love to meet’ I do of course mean ‘punch in the face’.



So it’s time for an intermission. Here’s a turtle.


Haha it’s actually a goat!


Aww I feel mean now. Here’s the turtle I promised you. His name is Plodrick. Isn’t he nice.



So onwards to Notre Dame!


South Bend is actually classed as ‘the fourth largest city in Indiana, the economic and cultural hub of the Michiana region’ (thank you Wikipedia). This of course instantly makes it sound rather exciting. But America has a slightly different definitions of a city. For example, Hoboken City with a population of just over 41’000.

As soon as you get away from that thin strip that is the East Coast the population density dips and the distance between places of interest increases quite significantly. But South Bend still has a dignified population of over 107’000 in the city and 316’000 within the metro (which may or may not include the town of Mishawaka whose centre is only three miles from the centre of South Bend). And of course it is home to apparently four Universities (I’m guessing they class a University a bit differently than we do as well). Which probably contributes to the reason that it has its own Regional Airport. Pretty useful eh?

In case you haven’t otherwise been made aware. I have found a place to live in South Bend. It’s only a twenty minute walk from the Campus however I’d probably invest in a bike as America seems to have a noticeable lack of pavements. I’ll be living with three postgraduate students. Two of them doing Philosophy and the other doing Law. It should lead to some interesting dinner table conversation.

All houses in America seem to have massive basements, Bill Bryson can back me up on this. Reading his book ‘Notes on a Big Country’ Bill Bryson can also tell you that apart from laundry, the basements are hardly used. Just big wastes of space underground. The place I’m moving into being no exception. So if anyone has any bright ideas what I crazy antics I could use the space for please let me know. I think I’ve set this thing so anyone can comment if they wish. Let me know if it doesn’t work.

A spot of luck on my part (or maybe not). I received an email the other day from one of the guys already living there informing me there was a snowstorm recently and the roof above my bedroom had fallen in a bit and started leaking. I say this is a spot of luck on my part as it happened before I moved on, rather than afterwards. Luckily the landlord said it will only take two weeks to fix and they’re going to strength the roof and insulate it more while they’re at it so I can be all warm and cosy. If they’re not done in time then I get to stay rent free anyway and will be able to find a good use for that basement they have.
I just re-read the email from the guy living there and he said there’s a foosball table in the room next to the Basement. I am now very happy.

--Touching moment warning--


This will likely be my last post until I arrive and get settled in South Bend. Where my next post will be my ‘First Impression’ post. I would like to be emotional for a minute and say to all my dearest and closest here in England, I will miss you all so greatly and the only thing that I won’t enjoy about America is leaving you all for so long. You’ve made my life and my days fantastic. Saying that you are always welcome to come and visit me. Even if you don’t have a dying urge to stay in South Bend (I’ll let you off, travelling so far and all) I would be more than Happy to meet up with you in other interesting places in North America, as you know I hope to see as much of the continent as I can.

And I hope you bring you many stories as I can from my year. From crazy American antics to me trying to put on an American accent and see who I can fool. Otherwise I will have failed you deeply.

During my revision today I learnt about a process called the Triple Alpha process. Where three Helium Nuclei fuse into a Carbon Nucleus inside of a star. Without this process no heavier elements would be possible. As myself and most of what I love is made out of these heavier elements I would like to dedicate this blog post to the Triple Alpha process. May it watch safely over us all.